That indelible humiliation

The weather in the south becomes unusually cold when it encounters cold air. My heart is extremely cold! The wine, the wine burned through my throat and occupied my stomach! My blood is burning...it all started from that summer half a year ago! During this period of time, my mother suddenly became very fond of dressing up! This makes me feel very strange! My sister and I have told my mother many times before that if she dresses up, she will be a great beauty! My mother always wanted to send me to college as an excuse and never bothered to dress up. My mother is already in her forties, but time has not left any outstanding marks on her body. Her figure is still so slim, but she has a slight belly. At 1.60 meters tall, this is nothing. Sometimes I really envy my dad for finding such a wonderful Wife! Fortunately, my sister and I are more like her. My father is away from Home all year round and can only come back a few times a year (as for work, let’s not talk about it). In this way, everything in the Family is supported by my mother, which is quite difficult. I love my mother deeply. . My sister is married, and although she and her Brother-in-law often go Home to visit, it doesn't help. I'm finally going to college! My mother also saw the light, and she became much more cheerful. She was still in School, and she would always call me from time to time to see if I was short of money, to see if I was doing well, and to see if I had a good conversation. I don’t have a girlfriend... Whenever this happens, I feel that my mother is the most deserving of my love in the world! During the winter vacation, my mother is usually very happy when I come back. In this SMall southern county, it's not too cold even in winter, but my mother is always busy with this and that for me, always worried about my son catching a cold or something. I always say to my mother: "mom, your son is not young anymore, he can take care of himself!" At this time, my mother always says to me seriously: "Boy, no matter how old you are, you are still my son! Haha..." , my heart is full of warmth. I swear, in this life, I must treat my mother well, well... Maybe God is destined to let my feelings be hurt, everything is so sudden! My sister likes to dance, and her Brother-in-law and she often go dancing in the main square at night. It is true that dancing is good for physical and mental health! So, my sister and Brother-in-law often talked about it in my mother's ears, and encouraged my mother to try it from time to time, for the sake of the elderly's health. ----, my mother refused to go because she was old or something. But my sister encouraged her that with her good figure and understanding, she would definitely become a dazzling flower on the dance floor! What's more, there are many middle-aged and elderly people dancing together in the dance hall! Slowly, my mother became interested and bravely took the first step! It should be said that my mother still has courage! And he learned quickly, and he even had a dance partner, a man! During those days, my mother was full of energy and much happier! Although my dad can't come back, yes, my mom no longer nags me like before, saying that my dad doesn't want this Family! My sister and I are both happy for our mother! It was Saturday again, and the School was not far from Home. I decided to go Home and see my mother! whenAfter riding in the car for several hours, when we returned to this SMall town, the lights were already starting to turn on. When I opened the door, my mother was surprised by my return. She pulled me into the room, brought me a glass of water and said, "Drink some water first, and I'll help you get something to eat!" I said, "mom, goodbye, I'm not hungry. Besides, I can do it myself, so why don’t I do it at Home?” mom said happily: "Hey, son, why didn't you tell me back earlier? I've finished everything, and I'll help you get something else to eat. You sit down." After that, she went into the kitchen. busy. I looked at my mother's back with gratitude and turned on the TV. I wanted to take a good rest! There were boring entertainment programs on TV, and I watched them boringly. It was really boring. mom quickly got something, it was noodles. He handed the noodles to me: "son, after eating, take a shower and rest. mom is going to go out later." "Dancing?" "Yes, I'm going to take a shower and I'll be out later!" mom walked into the Bathroom after saying that. To be honest, the noodles are not delicious, but my mother helped me make them. I can't fault them and will definitely finish them. The melodious music sounded! It’s the text message from my mother’s cell phone! Maybe it was the sound of water in the Bathroom, maybe it was because I couldn’t hear it in the Bathroom, but in short, I didn’t hear my mother asking me if it was her phone number. I picked up her cell phone and opened it. (If I could go back in time, I would never open her phone!) The content of the text message made me feel dizzy: "honey, I miss you! Come on, I want you..." I fell down on the sofa! No! wrong! It’s dad, right? ! ​​I’ll look at the text message again, no! Not Dad! ! I just felt like the world was spinning and my blood was rising. But in my heart I still forced myself to give myself a reason: No! It must not be what I imagined! It must be a joke! I know this idea may be ridiculous, but I can't imagine it! Unable to accept... There was still a little bit of noodles left, so I sat on the sofa. When my mother came out and saw my appearance, she thought I was sick and asked me if I was sick or not feeling well? Do you want to take medicine or take a quick break? I replied hoarsely that it was okay, stopped talking, and just sat there blankly. mom seemed uneasy, so she came over and touched my forehead again. She found that I didn't have a fever or anything, so she felt relieved, told me, and dressed up and went out! My mind is in a mess, what should I do? Do you want to take a look? right! I'll go check it out! I quickly walked out of the balcony and found a car under the community. There was a man about fifty years old next to the car, leaning on it gracefully, and the door was open. After a while, my mother came out and got in the car, and the car sped away! ​​I feel insulted and hurt in my heart! I even thought about killing—kill that man! Kill the man who seduced my mother! ! I have become taciturnCome! But my mother thought I was just tired from long distance. The next day, the text message appeared again! I decided to follow up and find out. When the man's car drove away, he wouldn't have imagined that I would be following him in the taxi behind him! The man's car stopped in the parking lot of a hotel. After getting out of the car, the man opened the door and helped my mother out. Then, holding hands, they walked to the hotel like Lovers! ​​I'm not a child! I know what that means! ! I feel my blood is boiling! If there was a knife by my side, I would rush in immediately and chop off that old turtle egg! "Sir! Sir... are you okay?!" The taxi Driver may have noticed that my face turned scary, so he hurriedly greeted me. I calmed down, said it was okay, paid him the money, got out of the car and left. The warm street lights dragged my shadow very long, and there were bustling crowds and noisy shops around me. However, I had no intention of watching all this. I just felt that my whole person seemed hollow and ethereal! Why exactly? Why? I just felt that my anger was about to burst out, and I kicked a SMall piece of garbage on the road hard! "oops"! I was shocked! Only then did I realize that I had kicked that thing onto a beggar on the roadside! The beggar's angry gaze was directed at me! There were some people nearby who were watching all this, and seemed to hope that the situation would develop in a big way! I cursed bitterly and rushed over with long strides. The beggar and the people around him were surprised as they thought I was going to hit him. Unexpectedly, I started running at a flying speed, and ran away in a flash... The wind was blowing my head vigorously! I can’t run anymore! I leaned against a tree, panting. The mind gradually calmed down. I told myself that I love my mother. I can't let my mother get hurt, including from us! After much thought, I decided to just pretend I didn’t know. At least, I couldn’t tell my dad and sister. Just think of it as a dream. I tried to untie my knot. I set out as usual and boarded the bus back to School. Before getting on the bus, my mother sent me to the station as always, nagging me as always to take care of my health, call me back when nothing happens, and other old words. However, I was speechless and choked. Finally, I opened my mouth and finally muttered: "mom...", but I couldn't say it anymore! My mother SMiled and hit me lightly with her fist, "Silly son, go to School happily, don't worry about mom!" I also SMiled, I thought, that SMile must be stiff... Back to School , my heart can no longer calm down, I know, I can't let go of this knot! There are always things like this and that in my mind. I wonder if I have a mental illness. Finally, one day I couldn't stand it anymore, so I went Home! Home is always a warm harbor! of course, this is the case when there is no storm coming! ​​If what is said aboveIf everything could still make me deceive myself and others into being calm, then everything that happened and what I saw below made me completely miserable and desperate! Because I saw everything that I really didn’t want to and shouldn’t see! ! When I opened the door to my house, what struck my ears was a strange sound - a sound that I had seen and heard from porn films, and was so familiar that it couldn't be more familiar! (Forgive me for watching porn!) That’s my mother’s voice! ! I feel despair and humiliation in my heart! Maybe I’m too involved, and my mother doesn’t know I’m back! Although her bedroom door is not closed! Looking up, an unsightly scene came into my sight! The mother lay down like a bitch, and the man knelt behind the mother, moving his buttocks back and forth, making a "snap" sound of physical impact! There were bursts of howls coming from the mother's throat, and the sound made the man's blood boil! The man's buttocks were moving, and his hands reached forward to play with his mother's two big breasts! It's not just a few words: "Fuck! Fuck you bitch...". I looked at it dumbfounded, and my mouth felt dry! The man fucked me for a while, then he helped my mother's white body to lie on her side, inserted his thick black cock from between my mother's legs into the black pussy that gave birth to me, and started thrusting hard again! mom closed her eyes in enjoyment... I felt that my Dick was getting hard! This makes me so embarrassed! Rushing out of the door like flying! ! "Dad! Where are you?!" I shouted loudly in my heart! what do I do? What should I do! I hate it! Hate that man! Hate my mother! ! My tears couldn't help but burst out of my eyes! I bought a ticket to go back to School and left in tears all the way. Back at School, I no longer had the intention to study, so I jumped into Internet cafes, played crazily, and frantically searched for psychological balance in the virtual world. When I got tired of playing, I went to the bar, drank like crazy, and got drunk, so that I could be relieved... ...and my mother also called me to greet me as usual. I grabbed the phone receiver and roared: "You don't have to worry about my business..." I don't know how I should face this! I don’t know how to face my father or my mother! Just let me bear this hurt alone. Perhaps, there is no harbor at all in this world. The harbor of the soul...